Friday, January 11, 2013
One Week
Well, we made it through the first week! We had some great successes: first week of kindergarten, first time attending Wednesday night church (everyone loved it!), preschool screenings for the little two, and a week of being a stay at home mom while Daddy went back to work. They are such great kids!! They have normal sibling disagreements and age-appropriate issues, but they are pretty wonderful. They are still great sleepers and eaters, and the biggest issue we have is having the kids all vying for our attention at the same time (loudly, I might add). We are ending a great week by pizza, hot wings (yes, they love them), and watching the Lion King. I think this will be a weekly tradition. Dinner and a movie - and I get to watch all my favorites!
Sunday, January 6, 2013
Settling In
We have been home now since Wednesday evening. That means we have woken up in our own beds four times as a family of 5! They are great sleepers - 11 hours at night and a two hour nap. We are figuring each other out. Our routines, likes, dislikes, and so much more. It feels like every day is something new to figure out! Bath, supper, weekends, art projects, laundry, and church. There have been almost no tears. In fact, the only tears have been when we have said no to something (I mean, why wouldn't I let my daughter throw play dough, right?). This might still be the honeymoon period, but I am hoping they keep it up! We have an incentive program (a clip chart with colors) that seems to be motivating to all of them, so that is wonderful!
Tomorrow is the first day of school for my kindergartener! He wants to go so he can meet friends and learn, so we are going to send him. I am nervous. I don't want him to leave, but I know he needs to go sometime. School is a challenge for him, but I am hoping he can do well. He really is a great kid, and he loves to make everyone happy. Now I have to start making arrangements for after school care and daycare/preschool for the other two. I hate to even think about when I go back to school in 6 weeks, but I guess I can't keep them home with me forever. They will be all mine in the summer though :) How surreal is all of this! This might sound strange, but they don't really feel like they are mine yet. I love them, and they love me, but we don't have weeks, months, and years of history yet. We don't know all the details of each others' personalities, and we don't quite know what to expect. I think this will be a great adventure!
Tomorrow is the first day of school for my kindergartener! He wants to go so he can meet friends and learn, so we are going to send him. I am nervous. I don't want him to leave, but I know he needs to go sometime. School is a challenge for him, but I am hoping he can do well. He really is a great kid, and he loves to make everyone happy. Now I have to start making arrangements for after school care and daycare/preschool for the other two. I hate to even think about when I go back to school in 6 weeks, but I guess I can't keep them home with me forever. They will be all mine in the summer though :) How surreal is all of this! This might sound strange, but they don't really feel like they are mine yet. I love them, and they love me, but we don't have weeks, months, and years of history yet. We don't know all the details of each others' personalities, and we don't quite know what to expect. I think this will be a great adventure!
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
2013 - Hopeful beginnings!
We spent the first 11 hours of 2013 with our children. It was our first overnight experience, and it went great! They went to bed very nicely and slept until 7:30! We brought them back to their foster family to spend one more day with them, and then we spent the day relaxing.
Today will be an interesting day because we get to bring them home. There is sure to be lots of excitement as we embark upon our new journey, but there will be some tough stuff too. They will have to leave the home they have been in for two years, and they will be in the car for probably 7 hours. When we do get home, they will want to look around and try out the different toys and things. I will have to go grocery shopping, and there are lots of potential melt-down points. It's probably going to be a tough few days, but we will be patient and pray for the best.
Part of what I did yesterday was to do a bit of shopping (we found some water bottles and divided plates) and to work on the kids' journals I have for them. I found all of these ideas on Pinterest, and I decided to combine them into one leather-bound journal I will give them at some point when they are older. The first idea was a quote book to record all of their precious moments. The second idea was a 20 questions to ask each year on their birthdays (favorite color, what they want to be when they grow up, and so on). The final idea was a journal to write them letters each year on their birthday. Well, I figured I could never keep up with three things, so I combined them all. So far, I have written them each their adoption story, told them about our first meeting and Christmas together, and written down some quotes. I have also started their 20 questions. I know it is none of their birthdays right now, but I wanted an initial starting point. I hope that I can keep this up and have something beautiful and wonderful for them when they are older.
Here's to a great year! 2013 is sure to bring lots of challenges (what year doesn't), but our family is complete, and we are hopeful for our new beginnings. As the saying goes, "Nothing worthwhile comes easily."
Today will be an interesting day because we get to bring them home. There is sure to be lots of excitement as we embark upon our new journey, but there will be some tough stuff too. They will have to leave the home they have been in for two years, and they will be in the car for probably 7 hours. When we do get home, they will want to look around and try out the different toys and things. I will have to go grocery shopping, and there are lots of potential melt-down points. It's probably going to be a tough few days, but we will be patient and pray for the best.
Part of what I did yesterday was to do a bit of shopping (we found some water bottles and divided plates) and to work on the kids' journals I have for them. I found all of these ideas on Pinterest, and I decided to combine them into one leather-bound journal I will give them at some point when they are older. The first idea was a quote book to record all of their precious moments. The second idea was a 20 questions to ask each year on their birthdays (favorite color, what they want to be when they grow up, and so on). The final idea was a journal to write them letters each year on their birthday. Well, I figured I could never keep up with three things, so I combined them all. So far, I have written them each their adoption story, told them about our first meeting and Christmas together, and written down some quotes. I have also started their 20 questions. I know it is none of their birthdays right now, but I wanted an initial starting point. I hope that I can keep this up and have something beautiful and wonderful for them when they are older.
Here's to a great year! 2013 is sure to bring lots of challenges (what year doesn't), but our family is complete, and we are hopeful for our new beginnings. As the saying goes, "Nothing worthwhile comes easily."
Thursday, December 27, 2012
Our Christmas Blessings!
God has truly blessed us!
On Christmas Eve day, we were able to meet our children. We sat in a visit room at DHS, along with all the birth parents waiting to have a Christmas visit, and I couldn't help but think about the losses these kids have had. They have lost their birth parents, and they are about to lose their foster parents and foster siblings. The worked also gave us photo albums and letters from the birth mother. There are baby pictures, ultrasound pictures, and so much more in those albums! What a precious gift for our children, and what a terrible loss for their parents. It was kind of tough to think about, but those thoughts were minimized when our kids entered our room. Our daughter, who "doesn't like men" and is "very difficult to get to know" came right in and hugged us. She didn't leave my husband's side! She read book after book with him and snuggled up close. She petted his face and hugged him every so often. It was very special. Our two sons, Little and Big, both gave us hugs and were moderately receptive. They didn't jump for joy, but they didn't reject us. After awhile, we all went to McDonald's. It was a good thing the foster mother was with us because we didn't even know what to order the kids! We spent about an hour there, and then we all went our own ways. Little was adorable with his cheeky laugh and adorable dimples! When I was carrying him to his car, he said, "You're a monster!" I was horrified, but then I realized that he was teasing me so that I would pretend to get him. I "got" him a few times, and was rewarded with the greatest laughter I have ever heard! It was a great Christmas!
Yesterday we were able to take them out on our own. We picked them up, and then drove to a store because we didn't know that Little needed diapers. Daddy sat in the car while I took Big into the store. I knew I was asking for trouble. What 5 year old is going to be well-behaved while we walk through clearance toy aisles to buy diapers? When we were fostering, I don't think we had a single day without a tantrum. I know we never had a trip to a store without a tantrum, so it was a big risk. Big was awesome! He picked out the diapers and wipes, carried them to the self checkout, helped me check out, and never asked for a thing. In fact, when we walked down the cursed toy aisle, he said, "Look at the toys." That was it. I almost cried with joy! When we got back to the car, he announced that he was a "real good helper." I asked foster mom about this later, and she said none of them tantrum in the store anymore because she worked through that with them. What a blessing! Anyway, we went to our hotel to open gifts. I was worried because we didn't have toys - we just had a tie blanket for each child that I had made, a book about forever families, and a backpack. You would have thought they had been given the coolest toys in the world. We read their books while snuggled up, and then we went back to McDonald's. We had a great time with them there, and it was precious to see the little two interacting. What a big sister our daughter is! I heard her say, "Now, you just lay down and pretend to be a sleeping baby." Little didn't go along with this plan, but it was still adorable. We took them back to their home after awhile, and we received some great hugs. The kids enthusiastically shared their whole experience with their foster mommy. They even seem excited about coming home with us next week. They don't understand the losses they are about to have, but at least they like us and are excited about it! I can't wait for today's outing!
On Christmas Eve day, we were able to meet our children. We sat in a visit room at DHS, along with all the birth parents waiting to have a Christmas visit, and I couldn't help but think about the losses these kids have had. They have lost their birth parents, and they are about to lose their foster parents and foster siblings. The worked also gave us photo albums and letters from the birth mother. There are baby pictures, ultrasound pictures, and so much more in those albums! What a precious gift for our children, and what a terrible loss for their parents. It was kind of tough to think about, but those thoughts were minimized when our kids entered our room. Our daughter, who "doesn't like men" and is "very difficult to get to know" came right in and hugged us. She didn't leave my husband's side! She read book after book with him and snuggled up close. She petted his face and hugged him every so often. It was very special. Our two sons, Little and Big, both gave us hugs and were moderately receptive. They didn't jump for joy, but they didn't reject us. After awhile, we all went to McDonald's. It was a good thing the foster mother was with us because we didn't even know what to order the kids! We spent about an hour there, and then we all went our own ways. Little was adorable with his cheeky laugh and adorable dimples! When I was carrying him to his car, he said, "You're a monster!" I was horrified, but then I realized that he was teasing me so that I would pretend to get him. I "got" him a few times, and was rewarded with the greatest laughter I have ever heard! It was a great Christmas!
Yesterday we were able to take them out on our own. We picked them up, and then drove to a store because we didn't know that Little needed diapers. Daddy sat in the car while I took Big into the store. I knew I was asking for trouble. What 5 year old is going to be well-behaved while we walk through clearance toy aisles to buy diapers? When we were fostering, I don't think we had a single day without a tantrum. I know we never had a trip to a store without a tantrum, so it was a big risk. Big was awesome! He picked out the diapers and wipes, carried them to the self checkout, helped me check out, and never asked for a thing. In fact, when we walked down the cursed toy aisle, he said, "Look at the toys." That was it. I almost cried with joy! When we got back to the car, he announced that he was a "real good helper." I asked foster mom about this later, and she said none of them tantrum in the store anymore because she worked through that with them. What a blessing! Anyway, we went to our hotel to open gifts. I was worried because we didn't have toys - we just had a tie blanket for each child that I had made, a book about forever families, and a backpack. You would have thought they had been given the coolest toys in the world. We read their books while snuggled up, and then we went back to McDonald's. We had a great time with them there, and it was precious to see the little two interacting. What a big sister our daughter is! I heard her say, "Now, you just lay down and pretend to be a sleeping baby." Little didn't go along with this plan, but it was still adorable. We took them back to their home after awhile, and we received some great hugs. The kids enthusiastically shared their whole experience with their foster mommy. They even seem excited about coming home with us next week. They don't understand the losses they are about to have, but at least they like us and are excited about it! I can't wait for today's outing!
Saturday, December 22, 2012
Skype - our first meeting!
I am in love! <3 We Skyped with our kids for the first time yesterday!
The kids were told about their upcoming move and adoption yesterday. Afterwards, they read them our welcome book. The kids wanted to see more, so they called us to Skype. I was so nervous - it was a good thing we didn't have much time to prepare for the idea because I would have been a mess! The first thing we saw is our little son's big brown eyes, and we heard his little voice say, "Hi Mommy. Hi Daddy." I did not cry at the time, but I definitely made up for it later (and now). Then we talked to our daughter. I complimented her hair bow. Our older son came into the picture a little bit later. He was loud and excited; it was great! We showed them their rooms, toys, the Christmas tree, the stockings, and so on. The oldest one was excited about Daddy's hat, and he had to show us his hat too. We talked for 25 minutes. At the end of the call, they blew us kisses. I will probably never forget that moment.
I know they don't understand the loss they are about to experience, leaving the family they have known for 2 years, but they are excited to have us as their parents. There will be good days and bad days, and some day they will say that they don't like us and we aren't their real parents, but we will cross that bridge when we get to it. For now, we just love them.
We will Skype again today and tomorrow. Then on Monday, we can meet them. I will try to breathe deeply until then.
The kids were told about their upcoming move and adoption yesterday. Afterwards, they read them our welcome book. The kids wanted to see more, so they called us to Skype. I was so nervous - it was a good thing we didn't have much time to prepare for the idea because I would have been a mess! The first thing we saw is our little son's big brown eyes, and we heard his little voice say, "Hi Mommy. Hi Daddy." I did not cry at the time, but I definitely made up for it later (and now). Then we talked to our daughter. I complimented her hair bow. Our older son came into the picture a little bit later. He was loud and excited; it was great! We showed them their rooms, toys, the Christmas tree, the stockings, and so on. The oldest one was excited about Daddy's hat, and he had to show us his hat too. We talked for 25 minutes. At the end of the call, they blew us kisses. I will probably never forget that moment.
I know they don't understand the loss they are about to experience, leaving the family they have known for 2 years, but they are excited to have us as their parents. There will be good days and bad days, and some day they will say that they don't like us and we aren't their real parents, but we will cross that bridge when we get to it. For now, we just love them.
We will Skype again today and tomorrow. Then on Monday, we can meet them. I will try to breathe deeply until then.
Thursday, December 20, 2012
3 days!
We meet our kids in THREE days! We are as ready as we could possibly be to welcome home three kids we have never met. We have everything assembled, cleaned, and organized. We have visited schools, made appointments, and planned for our absences from work.
As I was cleaning some things, I found my journal entries from my first pregnancy. I was shocked at how "quickly" I have forgotten the terrible pain of our loss. We were so excited, and a bit worried, until our 8 week appointment. Then we felt reassured that everything was perfect. We were back to pure joy and imagining the future. I don't have any entries that are not happy (what happened to the ones after we found out that the baby had died??). It just is like a frozen frame of two people, in love, waiting for the birth of their first child. I cried when I read it. It just seems so unfair that a special time like that was taken from us. I really had forgotten how life felt before all the bad news started. I haven't really thought about the trauma of it all in quite some time. I thought about sharing the pages with my husband, but I figured they would have no positive effect on his day, so I will file them away in a different hidden corner. It's okay that I forget those feelings and focus on the feelings of now.
THREE DAYS UNTIL FOREVER FAMILY! We are super excited! We are praying for a smooth transition and lots of happy memories :)
As I was cleaning some things, I found my journal entries from my first pregnancy. I was shocked at how "quickly" I have forgotten the terrible pain of our loss. We were so excited, and a bit worried, until our 8 week appointment. Then we felt reassured that everything was perfect. We were back to pure joy and imagining the future. I don't have any entries that are not happy (what happened to the ones after we found out that the baby had died??). It just is like a frozen frame of two people, in love, waiting for the birth of their first child. I cried when I read it. It just seems so unfair that a special time like that was taken from us. I really had forgotten how life felt before all the bad news started. I haven't really thought about the trauma of it all in quite some time. I thought about sharing the pages with my husband, but I figured they would have no positive effect on his day, so I will file them away in a different hidden corner. It's okay that I forget those feelings and focus on the feelings of now.
THREE DAYS UNTIL FOREVER FAMILY! We are super excited! We are praying for a smooth transition and lots of happy memories :)
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
The Best Christmas Ever
I am overwhelmed with joy! This is going to be the best Christmas EVER! We will be able to Skype with our kids for a few days before Christmas, and we will meet them on Christmas Eve. We will visit with them for several days and bring them home for the new year. Despite all the challenges of pregnancy loss and the loss of our foster children, God has truly blessed us. I cannot imagine things any other way. I am so emotionally overwhelmed that I cried from my dentist appointment to the pharmacy and then all the way home - not just little tears overflowing, but ugly, scrunched-up-face crying. Ridiculous!
What are we giving our kids for their first Christmas presents? My husband suggested something cuddly, so I made them each a tie blanket (two Cars and one Tinkerbell). I wanted to give each child their own theme of blanket, but, in the end, I decided to give the toys boys the same thing because I know they both like cars, and I don't know what other interests they have. We are also giving them each a book about forever families and adoption. I cried as I read the sample pages on Amazon. Once again, not a cute, happy cry - I cried loudly as I read the pages to my husband. He had to get two tissues to clean up the mess.I even cried a little when my husband brought me the printed schedule of our visits. What a huge blessing!
What are we giving our kids for their first Christmas presents? My husband suggested something cuddly, so I made them each a tie blanket (two Cars and one Tinkerbell). I wanted to give each child their own theme of blanket, but, in the end, I decided to give the toys boys the same thing because I know they both like cars, and I don't know what other interests they have. We are also giving them each a book about forever families and adoption. I cried as I read the sample pages on Amazon. Once again, not a cute, happy cry - I cried loudly as I read the pages to my husband. He had to get two tissues to clean up the mess.I even cried a little when my husband brought me the printed schedule of our visits. What a huge blessing!
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