Before reading the list, I want to give a little
background information to help you understand the lens through which I view the
world. My husband and I do not have any biological children. We have always had
an interest in adopting a sibling group through foster care. After experiencing
the pain and loss of miscarriage, we decided to become foster parents with the
end goal of adoption. We found our children on a waiting child list. We knew
they were difficult to place and had special needs. Prior to adopting them, we
foster three children, all under the age of six. One of the children we
fostered had some challenges, including physical aggression, tantrums lasting
up to three hours, and extreme nightmares. The children we adopted were in
foster care for as long as they had been alive by the time we got them at ages
3, 4, and 5. They have experienced trauma and neglect, loss, and multiple homes
in a short amount of time. Although our youngest seems to have few lasting
effects due to trauma, he remains developmentally behind his peers in some
areas, such as fine motor, due to his early life experiences. Our daughter has
high anxiety and moves to "flight" mode whenever she is faced with
too much anxiety. Our oldest has anxiety and post traumatic stress disorder. As
I have written about in many of my other posts, his behaviors are very
challenging at times. Therapists and foster-adoption professionals have
recommended the majority of the resources below:
- NACAC – North American Council for Adoptable Children – This is a wonderful website for all adoptive families. There is a wealth of information covering all angles of adoption.
- The Adoption Exchange – This is the website where we found our forever family on a waiting child list. It also has many resources and information for adoptive parents.
- Adopt US Kids – This website is a great starting point for people looking for more information about foster adoption. It also includes a waiting child list that includes all fifty states.
- How Neglect Shapes the Brain – This is a great article for anyone who interacts with someone who has been through trauma.
- Tapestry Books – This website does exactly what it says: Our selection of adoption books are hand-picked to help you find what you need.
- IFAPA – Iowa Foster and Adoptive Parents Association – This website has information specific to Iowa, but it also includes two major sections that are excellent resources. The resources section includes links about foster care, adoption, kinship care, resources for youth, trauma information, and legislative resources. The publications section has some great publications as well as life book pages and welcome books pages.
- TCU Institute of Child Development – This is a wonderful resource that includes a great program entitled Trust-Based Parenting, one of the best approaches to children who have experienced trauma and loss and who demonstrate challenging behaviors. Dr. Karyn B. Purvis is the Director of the TCU Institute of Child Development. The Connected Child: For Parents who have Welcomed Children from Other Countries and Cultures, from Troubled Backgrounds, with Special Behaviors by Karyn B. Purvis, David R. Cross, and Wendy Lyons Sunshine explains some of the basic principles found in the Trust-Based Parenting DVD series.
- Love & Logic – Information on a parenting approach that focuses on natural consequences instead of punishments. This website includes a plethora of resources for parents and teachers of children of all ages and backgrounds.
- Empowering Parents – This website is devoted to child behavior assistance. There are many articles, resources, and printables for parents.
- Kathy Harrison is a foster and adoptive mother who has authored several books including One Small Boat and Another Place at the Table. These books give great insight into life as a foster and adoptive parent.
- Instant Mom by Nia Vardalos – The actress from My Big Fat Greek Wedding authors this highly-entertaining and honest book about her experience with infertility and adopting through foster care.
- Dr. Bruce Perry has authored several excellent resources that make neuroscience accessible to the general audience. His books help to explain why children who have experienced trauma behavior the way they do and how to help them heal.
- The PTSD Breakthrough by Dr. Frank Lawlis – Although this book focuses on Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder in adults, much of the information can be used for children as well.
- When Love is Not Enough: A Guide to Parenting Children with RAD – Reactive Attachment Disorder by Nancy L. Thomas. This book provides some parenting advice for helping children with some of the most severe behaviors. Most parents will not need many of the parenting guidelines found in this book.
- The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind by Daniel J. Siegel, Tina Payne Bryson
- Easy to Love but Hard to Raise: Real Parents, Challenging Kids, True Stories edited by Kay Marner and Adrienne Ehlert Bashista
- Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control: A Love-Based Approach to Helping Children with Severe Behaviors by Heather T. Forbes & B. Bryan Post
