The Head Wound

Not too long ago, my oldest, the one with PTSD, had a meltdown. A really big meltdown where he was beyond reason and needed some space to calm down. At our house, we have practiced moving the whole family to a different area so D can have room to calm down safely - he gets a little like a Tasmanian devil at times. During this meltdown, for whatever reason, I decided that it just wasn't fair to always rearrange the whole family for one kiddo. I was walking D to his room, holding his hand, and he gave a big yank. He bumped his head, not very hard, on the door frame we were walking past. He said something like, "Ow," but that was it. When we got to his room, he sat down and was continuing his fit. At the same time, we both saw a drop of blood fall on the floor. Since neither one of us knew he had really injured himself, we were shocked. Well, blood, surprises, and heightened emotions don't mix well for a kid with PTSD. Immediately, he started hyperventilating. I calmly called for my husband and my friend who were both in the other room. The first priority was to get rid of the blood so D could calm down. Apparently he bonked his head right on the part of the door where the door where the lock is. You know, the only metal part of the door. Fortunately, it was in his hair, so we knew we wouldn't have to get stitches as long as we could get the bleeding stopped. Bringing my son to get stitches would be just as traumatic as the initial injury, so we definitely avoid those when possible. After stopping the bleeding and then calming him down, we were able to discuss the incident. When I asked what he learned from the head wound, he responded, "You should listen to your mom when she says take a break or you can crack your head open." Well, I guess he understood the main point....kind of. What did I learn? Our plan of moving the other people instead of him is probably not "fair," but it is the best plan - stick to the plan!

Resources for Adopted Children

The following is a list of resources that our family has found useful. We adopted a sibling group of three children under the age of six through foster care. Many of these resources focus on adoption and dealing with trauma, anxiety, and behavior difficulties. It is a list in progress!

• Tapestry Books – A website that states the following: Our selection of adoption books are hand-picked to help you find what you need.
•  Adoption is for Always by Linda Girard – a book to help children understand the permanency of adoption.
• God Found Us You by Lisa Tawn Bergren – a mother’s story about how God brought her forever family together.
• Welcome Home Forever Child: A Celebration of Children Adopted as Toddlers, Preschoolers, and Beyond by Christine Mitchell – a book geared towards children who were adopted after infancy.  
• I Wished for You: An Adoption Story by Marianne R. Richmond – a good explanation of how adoptive families come together.
• A Mother for Choco by Keiko Kasza – Choco is trying to find his mother, who ends up being a different species of animal.  
• A Terrible Thing Happened by Margaret Holmes – an excellent book for children who have experienced any traumatic event.
• Todd Parr is a prolific author with a very unique illustration style. His books cover many emotional topics including being different, making mistakes, and being adopted.  
• What to do When You’re Scared or Worried: A Guide for Kids by James J. Crist
• What to do When It’s Not Fair: A Kid’s Guide to Handling Envy and Jealousy by Jacqueline B. Toner and Claire A. B. Freeland – a workbook full of strategies for kids and families
• What to do When Your Temper Flares: A Guide to Overcoming Problems with Anger by Dawn Heubner – a workbook full of strategies for kids and families
• What to do When You Worry Too Much: A Guide to Overcoming Anxiety by Dawn Huebner – a workbook full of strategies for kids and families
• What to do When You Dread Your Bed: A Kid’s Guide to Overcoming Problems with Sleep by Dawn Huebner – a workbook full of strategies for kids an families