Our family is different. Although the kids look like dad a bit (he has a darker completion and dark hair), they look nothing like me. I am very Scandinavian looking, and they are Hispanic. Today at the swimming pool, another Hispanic little girl about 5 years old asked me where my children were. I pointed the kids out, and then she asked, "What does the dad look like?" It doesn't really bother me, but it bothers my daughter. She draws our family with brown skin and black hair - except for me. I am pink with yellow hair. She has lamented, "I wish I had hair like yours" and "Can I pretend I was in your tummy?" I don't mind these things, but I hope that I am also teaching her to embrace her heritage and not to worry about how people look. A few weeks ago, she came home and said her friend at school was teaching her Spanish because "her family speaks Spanish...and they all have the same hair color." My husband and I are both fluent in Spanish, so that is not anything too new for the kiddos. It was that last part of the sentence that breaks my heart knowing that she is uncomfortable because she feels different than other families. I hope she never feels less than others because she is adopted, Hispanic, a female, or part of an interracial family.
Because of this, I am learning to be more aware of things. For example, it is nearly impossible to get a personalized book (where your kids get to be in the story) with a protagonist who has dark hair and eyes. In Barbie, the Hispanic doll is the mean one, and there are some other minor "not blonde" characters. Tinkerbell and her fairy friends at least have a bit more diversity, and they seem to be more equally important than in other shows. Disney Princesses are a challenge as well. This week we watched Pocahontas and my kids thought they finally found someone that looked like them! It is about time for a Disney major motion picture musical featuring a Hispanic female lead!
But I digress. This post isn't about how poorly minorities are represented in today's culture. It is about helping my daughter to accept that our family is different, but that doesn't mean we are less.
There are families out there that look like yours yet the children are all their biological children. Is your area very ethnically diverse? Remember it is the love, not the hair color, that is important.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, we are not in a very diverse area. That actually played a huge role when we were looking at children to adopt. Our town is 5% Hispanic and only 1% African American. We felt that Hispanic children would feel less "different" than their peers. My own biological father has much darker hair and skin than my sister and I, but my mother is very Scandinavian looking. I have tried to help my daughter see that as well, but I think she feels different because she knows she is adopted. We have quite a library of books that also talk about different types of families. Hopefully over time she starts to see that our differences are what make us great! Thank you for your comments!
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