Broken Heart

Today I have a broken heart. We have to pick one child or the other three. It has been decided that we cannot have the sibling group and the child we have been fostering for a year. What a choice! If we go with the three, we are blindly choosing children we have never met. If we go with the one, we have no guarantee that we will end up with him. We have loved him for almost 1/5 of his life! If we don't take the one, he will go to a relative, and it will probably be okay in the end. If we choose the three, they will have to do another adoption search. If we choose the one, we will have to continue our journey - we know our family is not complete. If we choose the three, that will be the end of our search for our forever family. What kind of choice is this? We have faith that God's plan will work out, but that doesn't make it any easier for us to try to choose between two halves of our hearts.